Today I spent considerable time waiting at the doctor’s office. It wasn’t my idea; I got a call requesting my presence for a medical test. When they were quite insistent that I do it today instead of waiting for an opening at a more convenient time and location, my initial reaction was to worry. That probably makes me pretty normal. I think that would be most people’s reaction.
But yesterday was a busy day and I had a lot of things going on, including an outing with friends. After hanging up the phone and giving myself a few minutes to process the information and run through all the possible “worry” scenarios, I decided that I needed to put this aside and not make it the focus of my day.
It remained a distraction for a short while, but as I focused on what I needed to do and on my friends and their lives, it gradually faded into the background. I spent my evening hosting a group of teenage girls for a game night at my house. That was a great distraction; I spent all evening laughing and joking with some great people and sharing in their joy instead of introducing unnecessary worry into their lives.
By the time I got up this morning, it was simply another item on the to-do list. Even as I sat in the doctor’s office with a long wait, I realized I really wasn’t worried about the outcome. I brought along my current reading (book review to come soon) and was able to focus on my reading. I noticed that wasn’t the case with the other patients around me who were there for the same test. Most of them had brought someone along to wait with them, and I observed as they fidgeted and paced and whispered anxiously to their companions.
It was then that it really hit me what a wasted emotion worry is. Worry does not benefit us. While a little worry might be seen as helpful, such as when we concern ourselves enough to prepare well for a job interview or an audition, worrying about things that may or may not be–or may or may not happen, has no benefit. If we are concerned about the likelihood that something might or might not happen, rather than worry and fret, we need to do what we can to ensure the desired outcome. When there is nothing we can do, we need to learn to let the worry go. Worry can have a negative effect on our health. It can cause the same physical reaction as a physical stressor, including an increase in adrenaline production, headaches, stomachaches, sleeplessness, shortness of breath, inability to concentrate and a rise in blood pressure, among other things. Continuing to worry means allowing these symptoms to take up permanent residence in our bodies leading to a suppressed immune system and opening us up to more health issues.
So, how do we banish worry? Worry, or more appropriately concern, is a normal human emotion. We all experience it at some point, but that doesn’t mean we need to invite it in and give it a permanent home. We experience excessive worry when we allow our concern to grow beyond manageable limits. Here are a few strategies I’ve learned that help me keep unneceessary worry at bay.
Address the issue – In my case, it meant following the doctor’s suggestion and doing something right away. I got a clean bill of health on the spot. If I’d followed my first inclination I would have been waiting over a week for the appointment, giving my well-developed imagination ample opportunity to think up every negative scenario. The quicker you address the source of your concern, the quicker you can resolve it and move on with your life.
Do Something – This really goes along with the first one. If there is something you can do to alleviate your worry, do it. Make a phone call to check on that person you are worrying about, make that doctor’s appointment, finish the paper or article you need to write. If you can’t address the issue, find something else positive to do. One of the ways I deal with the stress of worrying is to tackle my project list. I find physical labor distracts me from other issues and the garden often looks much better when I take out my frustration on the weeds. Exercise helps, too. A good brisk walk, a bike ride or a swim can all relieve the tension that worry creates in your body and mind and help you relax.
Eat Healthy — A good, healthy diet allows your body to receive what it needs to function properly. Over eating or under eating both have negative effects on your system. Indulging in unhealthy “comfort foods” may actually compound the effects of worry, since they are frequently high in fat, sugar and caffeine. Speaking of caffeine, it’s good to limit your caffeine consumption in times of stress and worry as it stimulates the nervous system and can lead to increased adrenaline production, something worriers really don’t need more of.
Help Someone Else – Doing something positive for someone else often puts our own worries into better perspective–or at least gives you the opportunity to help alleviate someone else’s worries and really does make you feel better. When Gordon B. Hinckley, the president of the Mormon Church was a young missionary in England he worried that he wasn’t effective and was wasting his time and his family’s money. He spilled out his worries in a letter to his father who wrote back, “Forget yourself and go to work.” Focusing on someone or something else means you aren’t focusing on your worries.
Talk to Someone – Often the best thing we can do for our worry is to just get it out in the open and get it out of our system. Having a support system, someone who will listen and help you refocus, and just knowing that you aren’t carrying the load alone can all go a long way toward relieving your worries.
Prayer & Meditation – Sometimes there isn’t any real way to address the issue fully. Turn your worries over to God or to whatever higher power works for you. If you’re a religious person, you are probably familiar with the passage of scripture that reads “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). It really does work, but you’ll have to exercise your faith. Meditation is also a wonderful way to clear your mind. These techniques don’t involve forgetting about your troubles, but rather acknowledging them and then clearing your mind and focusing on the present moment to invite in positive thought instead. If you don’t know how to meditate, check out this site for some helpful tips to get you started.
So, how about you? How do you deal with the stress and worry in your life? Please share your feedback, thoughts and strategies in the comment section below.
